As previously mentioned, despite my cute and cuddly exterior, I’m a man who loves playing un-fun decks. I’m talking Stasis locks, 20 counterspells plus Nevinyrral’s Disks, turn-two Hatred kills, and good old-fashioned land destruction.
But an un-fun experience doesn’t make for a long-lasting card game, and in their wisdom, Magic designers phased out the worst offenders—goodbye Stasis, goodbye three-mana land destruction, goodbye Sinkhole. (Still, if you’ve never opened on Dark Ritual, Sinkhole, Black Vise... you haven’t lived.)
That said, just because the most egregious cards are gone doesn’t mean we can’t find delightfully annoying decks. Lately, Wizards has been placing those effects in white—“you can’t do that” and “pay more for this”—and they’re showing up on small, Company-able creatures. Which brings us to:
🧾 Selesnya Company (aka Hate Bears)
Main Deck:
1 Plains
4 Enduring Innocence
1 Tyvar, the Pummeler
4 Brushland
1 Kellan, Daring Traveler
3 Werefox Bodyguard
1 Eiganjo, Seat of the Empire
1 Boseiju, Who Endures
4 Branchloft Pathway
4 Skyclave Apparition
1 Knight of Autumn
1 Llanowar Elves
4 Temple Garden
4 Elvish Mystic
4 Thalia, Guardian of Thraben
4 Razorverge Thicket
4 Collected Company
2 Shefet Dunes
4 Archon of Emeria
1 Plains
3 Llanowar Elves
4 Aven Interrupter
Sideboard:
1 Dromoka's Command
1 Guardian of Faith
4 Portable Hole
2 Brutal Cathar
1 Kayla's Reconstruction
2 The Wandering Emperor
1 Werefox Bodyguard
3 Rest in PeaceWhy It Works
If you love creatures and hate spells, this is the deck for you. It runs four copies of Collected Company and... that’s basically it for spells. The rest is disruption on legs.
Thalia needs no introduction, and Skyclave Apparition answers just about anything. (Fun fact: when it exiles cards like Unholy Annex // Ritual Chamber, the resulting Illusion token reflects the total mana value—so, yes, it leaves behind an 8/8.)
Once Thalia is on board, you’re looking to stick Archon of Emeria, which punishes spell-heavy, nonbasic-dependent decks—basically the whole Pioneer field. And with tools like Aven Interrupter and Werefox Bodyguard, you keep your opponent from ever stabilizing.
Enduring Innocence pushes this deck over the edge—it acts as a repeatable card draw engine and is tricky to remove once it’s online.
There’s room for upgrades too. Want more synergy? Try adding Eldrazi Displacer to reuse ETB effects from cards like Apparition and Knight of Autumn.
What About Clarion Conqueror?
I was initially excited to slot in Clarion Conqueror from Tarkir: Dragonstorm. But upon further review, I’m less enthused. Sure, it hoses planeswalkers and creatures, but that includes your own mana dorks. It might be a fine sideboard card if Planeswalker-heavy decks surge, but for now, I’m leaving it out.
Final Thoughts
This deck is cheap, annoying, and consistent. If you enjoy putting your opponent on tilt while quietly assembling a zoo of tax effects, give Selesnya Company a shot in Pioneer. It’s not unbeatable—but it sure is irritating. And sometimes, that’s all we’re really after.