Moving right along with our Dragonstorm review served with a side of snark, let’s look at (spins the color wheel … big money, big money, no whammies) white!!
Elspeth, Storm Slayer: Okay, I’m gonna fess up, first time I read this card, I thought it was, charitably, not good. Also helps if I read the card more closely and realize the minus ability hits bigger creatures, not small.
When previewing planeswalkers, I like to play a little game called “Is This Planeswalker Any Good?” To win, a planeswalker card has to answer in the positive to at least two of three questions:
1. Does it cost four or less?
2. Can it protect itself?
3. Does it ultimate win you the game?
By these standards, this version of Elspeth doesn’t seem to pass the test. That said, after giving it more thought, I am prepared to make an exception to my hard-and-fast rules above, but only in certain decks. As in, creature-heavy white-based decks; the ability to buff and grant evasion to a team can be a game winner, as can removing a big threat.
I’m not saying this card is like Ugin good, I definitely don’t think it’s “best card in the set” but, yeah, it’s okay. I’ll say that much.
Also: Commander players love doubling effects so you’ll want a copy of this to go alongside Mondrak, Glory Dominus and Anointed Procession.
Clarion Conqueror: What ho! White “Hate Bears” have been a thing for many years (shout out to Gaddock Teeg), now we have a Hate Dragon. And such hate! Shuts down mana dorks, mana rocks, and any and all planeswalkers. Even a 3/3 flier for three isn’t a bad deal as a vanilla creature, now you tack on “I hate you and especially you” and a Dragon to boot? I guess we should be glad it doesn’t have four toughness so it’s at least not out of Bolt range.
Definitely worth picking up a copy or two as a sideboard option, but honestly I bet there’s a deck out there that’s gonna want the full fearsome foursome, and if you happen to be one of those sadists, like me, who use to love making people give up to a Stasis lock, you’re gonna want that playset.
Sage of the Skies: This guy is gonna be crazy good in formats with Ornithopters. I’m already thinking about Boros Convoke decks. Like this one:
Boros Convoke was the hot new thing for a while, then dropped off the radar, now with these new goodies it might go back to the new hotness. The tools are there.
Sunpearl Kirin: Hey girl, I heard you like bouncing your own stuff, well I got you something else that bounces your own stuff.
Nothing I love more than the default best deck in a format getting new good stuff to make it even better. Now the only question is if you’re running the Nowhere to Run-based removal decks, are you going Orzhov, Dimir, or Esper? (Worst. Law Firm. Ever.)
Osseous Exhale: For the wordsmiths out there “osseous” means “bony” or “bone-like”, so in essence this card means “bone breath” and you know what I should just stop right there before I get into trouble.
Static Snare: One of those “squint just right and you can see a good card here,” cards, noting that it can be used on your turn, after declaring attackers and before blockers are assigned, but also noting that if you to jump through that many hoops you should just be playing a better card here.
Tempest Hawk: Oh, look, trying to make Squadron Hawk work again. I got bad news, Chester, there’s no Stormforge Mystic in Standard and no good Equipment to throw on it. I do look forward to people trying to draft eight or more in Standard. I have seen it happen, and to those people, I wish godspeed.
Twinmaw Stormbrood: Don’t be shocked if this card shows up in mono-Red sideboard just for the Roast ability. It saw some play as a sideboard option once before, and might again.
United Battlefront: Now this is a card I am very high on. Can’t hit creatures, but you know what it can hit? Artifacts. And in Standard, there’s some sneaky good ones and I’m looking at you, Simulacrum Synthesizer. This card will be a cross-format all-star in U/W artifact-heavy Affinity-type builds, mark my words and I will put good money on it.
This can also hit enchantments, and I’m thinking about the already not-terrible combo between Solemnity and Nine Lives, which is a) almost a guaranteed win and b) guaranteed to ensure you have no friends.
I’m betting this will be a cheap card early and I’d say get your playset while you can.
Voice of Victory: This card is going to be played a lot, of that I have little doubt. The question is, will it be more of a sideboard option, like Drannith Magistrate, or worth playing maindeck. The built in Grand Abolisher ability alone gives it boatloads of upside, even without the ability to pump out tokens for a go-wide strategy. If you like white weenie decks, you’ll want a few of these for sure.
The verdict on white is that it’s got a lot of depth and some sneaky good cards in here, especially at rare and mythic. Definitely a few cards in here worth dropping some cash on and getting early before the prices go up.